


Plus Two

by elektravondemon



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Complete crack, F/M, i cant help giggling like a moron to myself when i reread this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-23 18:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elektravondemon/pseuds/elektravondemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Beast Hunters' 'Plus One' episode, this popped in my mind. June and Agent Fowler ask Optimus and Ratchet what interfacing is... T for content and suggestive material.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plus Two

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. If TF belonged to me I would have Bulkhead and Wheeljack frag in every episode, having the 'camera' present several different angles showing off explicit detail.
> 
> In this story, I'm using facts I've read in other stories along with pure logic and common sense.
> 
> ON WITH THE SHOW!

 

Special agent Fowler and Nurse Darby returned to base safely, that's what mattered.

June came face-to-face with a Decepticon general tonight and no one liked it, especially since it was Knockout. Vain, sadistic, cold but not completely sparkless; pretty much a mech version of Airachnid. Don't let either of them hear you with that comparison; they'll peel you before you can blink. Agent Fowler, or 'Bill' as the single mother now calls him, has faced and has been interrogated/tortured by Starscream the week the kids discovered the Autobots and in some ways he's a lot worse!

Both of them lost the Predacon talon after being saved by Arcee and Wheeljack but on the bright side the former Army Ranger got to spend some personal time with the woman he is so particularly fond of, despite them being in the trunk of a 'Con. After a mutual and grateful hug between Jack and his mom, June was relieved she was safe but there was one thing that kept bothering her.

She walked up to the balcony where Ratchet was stationed, working on a complex energy formula at a monitor and stood near him to watch him work. Optimus and Ultra Magnus were nearby conversing about their mission. Bulkhead, Wheeljack, and Arcee were also speaking to one another with Jack and Miko by their feet. Raf was on his laptop correcting conspiracies before they got to a majority of the public with Bumblebee helping. Smokescreen was nowhere to be found though there was a possibility he was in his new berthroom.

Ratchet caught the nurse in his peripheral before she even reached the top stair but patiently waited for her to speak.

"Ratchet?" she gained his attention meekly.

"Yes'm?" He stopped typing and rotated his head to face her gaze though not turning from the computer all the way. June's tone was uncharacteristically shy.

"Knockout was the one who kidnapped me and Fowler, correct?"

"Yes." He replied flatly. The name of his nemesis made him sport a grimace but it quickly disappeared as it showed.

"And he's Megatron's doctor like you're Optimus'?" She twirled her ponytail out of nervousness, something else that's hinky.

"Actually, I am a medic for the collective group of Autobots here on earth, and the occasional Decepticon. But yes Knockout is Megatron's medic and scientist. I will also admit that he is quite experienced in both fields of expertise."

"Oh." The woman in front of him shifted her weight and rubbed her arm as if it would ease the awkwardness. The ambulance waited patiently again for her to speak what's on her mind. "Ratchet, can I ask you another question?" Stumbling over her words was, again, uncharacteristic for the small human.

"You asked me three already, Nurse Darby, but yes, you may ask another one." He quirked a smile; humor wasn't his best forte but at least he tries.

The next words out of her mouth were jumbled and blurted: "What's interfacing?" By this time, the children along with Fowler came up to the balcony and Optimus, the three Wreckers and Arcee had approached to stand in front of the humans. Prime had an amused smile on his faceplate which was honestly creepier than any Decepticon's devilish smile. The kids had curious looks while Fowler had a confused one. He was interested in this word too. He perched himself on the desk on the opposite side of June with a cup of coffee in his hand

"Yeah I want to know what the word is as well, though I got a pretty good idea." His shit-eating grin and suggestive wink made the nurse blush, confirming her thoughts that she wasn't the only thinking about the subject.

Ratchet put his servos on his hips, "You both want to know what  _interfacing_  is?" he asked slowly, gaze switching from June to Fowler and back.

"Uhh, yes?" The black-haired woman rocked on her heels like a child asking for sweets before dinner.

Ratchet's smile was devious. "Well what do _you_  think it means?"

June glared at a snickering Miko and Raf and tried to ignore Bill completely with his newfound childish behavior. This evening couldn't have gotten more uncomfortable.

"June," Optimus' baritone voice filled the air, "do you wish to know about interfacing? You, Jack, and Agent Fowler are mature and old enough to learn if you wish."

"Hey! What about us?" Miko complained with a pout.

"Optimus said  _mature_ , Miko." Jack scoffed.

"That was mean," the boy with the thick glasses narrowed his eyes at the older male, "Besides, I have older brothers and sisters, and they have girlfriends and boyfriends. Don't you think I hear them at night when they want to…you know. My parents also have a pretty active…" Raf was interrupted was June waved her hands frantically, stammering.

"Okay, enough out of you. We get it." There was a strain in her voice that caught Fowler's attention.

"What's the matter, Nurse Darby? Not getting any?" he playfully chided. She spun around and this time did send a glare that would be enough to melt the Apex Armor.

"Oh-ho-ho! For your information I got enough from Jack's father, thank you very much!"

"Are you sure? 'Cause I'd be more than willing to…"

Jack butted in. "Agent Fowler, I am begging you to not finish that sentence." He copied his mother's movements to show his desperation to drop the topic and embarrassment at the sudden image that conjured in his head.

"..Help you out." There was that blasted grin again.

"God! Please make it  _stooop!"_ He dramatically dragged his hands down his face and shuddered in disgust while Miko and Raf laughed. "I swear. That pick-up line was worse that Vince's flirtations."

June just rolled her eyes and looked back up at Ratchet and Optimus, who were both like Fowler: wearing stupid smiles. "You going to tell me or what." Both of them exchanged a glance and nodded at their 'student'.

Ratchet started, "If you already know how your people interface, then it isn't really that different than our way. There is a receiver and a dominant, or labeled 'female and male', respectively. Now since our anatomy is different, so is our equipment but again not much difference. All mechs, or males, have a spike and valve. I'm sure you can guess what those are." June nodded. Ratchet continued when he noticed the humans, including Miko, were listening intently. "Bots with Arcee's frame types is tricky. Only some femmes, however, have their own spike. The ones that do only have valve with their phallus, but the ones that don't have a valve and a port, which is what normal human females possess." The five organics stared at Arcee.

"Y-You have a uh…" Raf made a gesture toward his groin implying the rest of his question.

"No, but Airachnid does." Raf gaped while Jack's face turned into an off-white color that couldn't be healthy. The two-wheeler said that as if she knew that fact her whole life. Arcee shrugged. "Call it a femme's intuition."

"I'm going to state this once, simply because it may answer a thought you had in the past." Ratchet hooked his arm on the railing and leaned closer more toward the children than Mrs. Darby. "On Cybertron, there weren't many femmes compared to mechs and even less so because of our war. Somewhere along the history of our race, mechs have adapted to carry  _sparklings_  to repopulate. Any bot is capable to be impregnated and it is  _completely_  normal, regardless of what you may think."

Miko raised her hand as if in in a classroom. "So guys can have babies?" Ratchet nodded. "Coooool. Continue, please?" Everyone was shocked at her politeness and understanding.

Optimus decided to continue from this part. "Because of this fact, a mech can pair with another to copulate. I understand that human males cannot carry and birth an infant."

Jack shivered again. "I'm glad I don't. That would hurt."

A small rumble of amusement rolled through Optimus' frame but spoke again, "As two mechs can couple, so can two femmes. A mech and a femme can be together but it is not as common as it is on your planet." He paused to let all the information sink into the humans' brains. They seemed to comprehend and understand and that was good. "As Ratchet has stated, every Cybertronian is capable of producing young and for some things you may find unusual or taboo, we may call the norm.

"Cybertronians interface for three reasons. Pleasure, copulation, and liberation. Cybertronians are known for their openness for intimacy. No one is afraid to ask for release, especially among friends. The second reason is obvious."

June asked, "Liberation, what do you mean?"

"It is similar to the first reason. When we have intercourse, we experience pleasure and then we are free from tension and stress."

"Oh… You mentioned sparklings? How does a Cybertronian's carrying cycle work?"

"I know a human pregnancy lasts up to nine months," Ratchet pointed out, "but we only carry for a maximum of three months. The usual length of time is 11 to 12 weeks. You're probably wondering why…" All the humans nodded. "I am not quite sure why human infants take longer to form but my guess is that ironically you are more difficult to form than Cybertronians are. After the cycle is complete, the carrier births the sparkling through the valve."

"What do you guys use for protection? If you really do screw each other a lot then there's probably something to keep mini-Autobots running around." Jack asked.

Optimus answered this, "Actually we do not need 'protection' as you call it because our race cannot produce a sparkling just by interfacing. Conception occurs when the receiver is given transfliud through their valve and both bots must be merging their sparks simultaneously. This process is called a sparkbond. It is only reserved for two, or the occasional three, bots that care for each other deeply and wish to spend the rest of their lives with each other. It would be considered our form of marriage but when we bond, there is no turning back. The only way a bond can be compromised is if one bondmate dies." Getting a little off track there. "Since none of us merge our sparks while interfacing we do not have to worry about a young. Though if we do, the combination of both energies forms a sparklet, which will stay in the carrier's spark chamber for about an earth week before moving downward into the gestation chamber. A protoform grows there, made from the carriers own inner armor and less than 11 weeks later will arrive a sparkling."

"I think you would an awesome dad, Optimus!" Miko piped in.

"Thank you, Miko, but we use slightly different terms when referring to family." Miko's interested look was all he needed to continue. "'Sire' is the equivalent to father or the one who has donated their fluids to conceive. 'Carrier' would be mother or the one carrying the sparkling. A bonded couple together with child would be named parents, or 'creators'."

"I heard you call Megatron brother once?" Jack asked.

"Yes I considered Megatronus a brother but we actually have the same terms when referring to siblings and cousins."

Miko raised her hand,  _again._  "Do you guys have menstrual cycles?" Almost everybot shook their heads. She stomped a foot to the ground, growling, "Dang it! Lucky." She glared at Jack when he snickered.

"Do you want me to make  _you_  bleed out of your snatch every month?!" He stopped laughing and covered his crotch protectively. "Didn't think so," she snorted.

Wheeljack crossed his arms with an arrogant smile, "That time of the month, eh kid?"

"Shut up you crud-muncher."

"And you're being awfully understanding of what we do, too."

Her hormonal anger ebbed away. "Well, you guys are a different race. You have different cultures, traditions. The least I can do is respect what you do." She smiled. Then another question, "What's the word you…use?"

"Fragging." Ultra Magnus deadpanned then stalked away.

"Okay. I think I get it. Thank you." June sent a smile towards Optimus and Ratchet. But then the medic realized something.

"Nurse Darby, why do you wish to know what interfacing is?" Asking a little late don't you think, Hatchet?

There was the awkward feeling again. When June didn't answer, Fowler stepped forward. "When we were in Knockout's hands, June and I were sort of arguing. He asked if we were dating and said that we fight like an old married couple, which I honestly think applies to you and Ratchet, Prime. He also said the thought of us  _fleshies_  interfacing was gross."

"I beg your pardon?!" Ratchet squawked in surprise, "Optimus and I do not fight like bondmates!" There was a chorus of 'yes you do's from everyone besides himself, Optimus and Magnus.

Raf answered Agent Fowler's statement, even though it didn't need one. "The Decepticons haven't spent time with humans like the Autobots have because they think we're repulsive in general. If they think that then that's their problem for not getting to know us better."

Everything was quiet for while besides the quiet hum of the computers before June titled her head towards 'Bill' with a sultry smirk. "So interfacing huh?" She waited until the  _very_  special agent took a swig from his drink while she did the same with his appearance. "I wonder if the rumors about black men are true." Fowler nearly choked in surprise but covered it with an enticing and cocky laugh.

"Mom?" came the horrified squeak out of her son. Jack couldn't believe this was happening.

He met everyone's gaze and they all had wicked smiles on their faces aside from Optimus, who just gave a secretly amused and friendly smile.

He threw his arms up in the air dramatically and in defeat, "I AM SO DONE WITH YOU PEOPLE!"

He turned and stormed to the video game console, cursing under his breath, and completely blocking out the roar of laughter from behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> 8 pages. Wow. Btw, Jack completely respects this Cybertronian life lesson; he's just embarrassed at the thought of his mom and Fowler getting it on. :D I'm assuming Raf is 14, almost 15 years old while Miko is around 17 maybe and Jack is 18ish. Well, it's been 3 years since the show started so..


End file.
